It's all about PERSPECTIVE.

If you look at this photo with the a positive perspective you can see Teague helping his brother up the slide.

But look at it the wrong way and you see Samuel pulling his brother down.

It's funny, but life is like that sometimes. Sometimes, it's all about the way you look at things. Sometimes it's about zooming out from the picture enough to realize that no matter is happening on the slide, Luke and Molly are beating eachother up on the driveway, and in the house Lottie is perfecting her roll over technique.

Sometimes there a bigger problems, or bigger accomplishments just around the corner. Sometimes you have to give up on what's in front of you, accept that you have done all that you can and hope for the best. Sometimes you have to change course, and focus on something new. Sometimes that can be hard. But if we were all able to zoom out enough I think we would see that the "bigger picture" is okay.

I've had one of those weeks. It''s been hard to see the bigger picture. It's been hard not to get so bogged down in my day to day shortcoming that the zoom button got lost. I think I have been kind of a downer here and for that I apologize. We're really busy and I am hoping to get things back on track now. If I get busy I won't have to time to wallow in self pity right? Right? ..... Right! :)

Next week, in addition to all of our usual stuff Jason and I beginning the couch to 5 k program. I have at least five facebook "friends" who have started this program in the last couple of months and I am hoping that the planned workouts will help motivate me to get off my behind and do some exercises. In theory in six weeks this program will have me back being able to run a 5k. (3.1 miles) I have some baby weight I need to loose, and nothing has ever boosted my confidence like running used to. If you've never tried it you should think about it, I was never a runner before but when I did it gave me such a huge sense of accomplishment. I am hoping for similar results this time!

So little time....

Notice the pretty baby trying to hide the mountain of laundry and summer stuff behind her waiting to be organized and put away......

Okay so I absolutely must accomplish something today! Today's goals are (in no particular order!)

*Clean up and organize the Living room/dining room/ office areas

• Get at LEAST two loads of laundry done (one clothes, one diapers)




• Prep a weekend schedule for the calender board -- or we will be way off track




• Give both little ones a bath.




• Soccer for Luke




• Spend some time with Jason working out a workable budget for May - lots of little extras cause it's end of the school year and I want to be on top of it!

*Call/Go online and figure out which of Jason's student loans called -- I am all but certain they are all on schedule --??



• Call the church about a date for the vow renewal.

I don't call it boring, I call it classic. :)

So we haven't been making much progress around here, I am seriously considering going "Duggar" and breaking out the index card and chore packs again. Do you think I can give Jason a deck of chore cards without it being pushy/naggy/or just plain rude? Do you think I should care if it is? Probably huh? (For those who are not avid Duggar watchers/readers, "chore packs" are essentially sandwich bags with a stack of index cards in them for each household member detailing the tasks that person needs to complete each day, or each morning or whatever.) I am hoping today to finally get going on the great clothes sort that I have been letting slide for a solid two weeks tomorrow. (insert shocked face here)

All that aside I had an interesting discussion with Jason this week. While trying to put Charlotte to sleep one night I was watching the Food Network's Ultimate Cake O ff. (One of those shows where they build the 6 foot wedding cake) As part f the show they were giving a "tasting" of all their cake flavors, banana pineapple with cream cheese filling and caramel, white chocolate raspberry with dark chocolate gonache, dark chocolate with peach cream meringue... and the list goes on.

Admitably, it's been a long time since I shopped for wedding cake, and there is a good possibility I just wasn't paying enough attention the first time around, but seriously? All of that? Whatever happened to vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry? Or even just plain banana? I called my husband's attention to some of these crazy flavors and he immediately said "Yeah, those look so good!"
I laughed and replied "Are you kidding, if I want cake I would prefer just plain yellow cake and butter cream filling. Sweet and simple." Now it was Jason's turn to laugh. "Of course you would, that's who you are."

Now I wasn't exactly sure, but it felt like I was being insulted here. "What do you mean by THAT?" I asked. Jason went on to explain that I am just a person who knows what she likes and doesn't venture beyond it. He went on to add that I like things "just so" and that if I could plan out the next 40 years of my life, I am the person who would do it.

This completely baffled me. Of course I would do it. "Who wouldn't do that if they could?" I asked. Jason laughed. He added that even if I couldn't choose the things to put on the plan, if someone else were gonna plan it I would be okay with it if they just gave me a detailed copy so I knew what was coming next. Of course I would. I am often on here and on facebook suggesting that I wish God gave us a road map to life, turn here, stop here... it would be so much easier. I didn't think this factor of my personality was unusual?

All of this collectively got me thinking about another blog I read where I was recently called (politely) a chicken nugget. Now this blogger was referring to my taste in reading materials, in that I like to read books that I know ahead of time were they are going, that don't provoke a lot of deep thought (I don't really have time for deep thought) I don't feel the need to pick them apart for literary meaning, and when I find something I love I can read it over and over again. (Which is why my copy of Twilight has literally split down the middle.) I am not sure how she got all this around to comparing this with food choices, but she did. And I was forced to admit (a bit ashamed, a bit amused) that as a kid when my family vacationed I only ever ate chicken strips for dinner on vacation. We ate out every night and the only thing I could guarantee myself to like on the menu were chicken strips (and thankfully they were on nearly every menu) I was the connoisseur of the Greater Grand Traverse Bay area and chicken strips in the mid 90's. I had tried them at every establishment around.

To be honest, I am still that way. It's not always chicken strips but I tend to order the exact same thing at restaurants I frequent. I rarely even need a menu. I eat quesadillas at Applebees, cheese ravioli at Olive Garden (unless it's lunch and then I will just eat a salad) Prime Rib and salad with mustard vinaigrette at Outback, and chicken parm at Bravo. I know what I like,and I choose it. I enjoy predictability, it's just who I am.

Maybe that is boring, but I prefer to think of it as enjoying the classics. I like black sweaters and denim in the winter, white tanks and khaki's in the summer. My favorite cake is plain yellow with butter cream frosting, I don't like flavored water. If I am going to drink water, I just prefer straight, regular water. I drink white milk. I have never even tried chocolate milk, I don't think I'd like it. I only eat grape jam. I own nine "little black dresses", and I am okay with that. It's adventurous for me if I buy one with trim, or in a v neck, instead of round. Jason laughs at me, but says at least he always knows what to buy me.

Maybe it's because I had more drama in my life in the first 20 years or so than most people do in a lifetime. Maybe I was just born this way. But it's who I am -- and I can't call that boring.

Oh yes and as a final thought on being "boring" -- it has the bonus side effect of making me an extremely loyal person. Once I find the things (and people) I love I tend to stick by them!

Getting back on track.

Yes, Charlotte looks a little shocked. :) You would to if you had spent the last few months following me around, leading my life. I could lie and tell you I don't know how we got to were we are -- but that is all it would be, a lie. It got to it's current state of crazy schedules, overwhelming chores, and general chaos because I got complacent about keeping up with it. When we are constantly running late, or the kids have on mismatch clothes, or I can't find something I needed, or I forget something, well meaning people are apt to tell me how "okay" it is, and that I "have 5 kids, stuff happens", and while I know their intent is to make me feel better, I hate it. Having 5 kids is not an excuse. Nor does it somehow make it okay to always be late and frazzled, and an unorganized mess. Of course the only thing I hate more is the way the non-well meaning people look at you when you are. The "you have 5 kids and you have failed miserably at it" face. I got that at soccer this weekend.

I have rooted out that the my problems in general stem, not from the amount of children I have but from two primary sources. The first is that we simply have to much STUFF. I mean, a family of seven may have more stuff than a family of three. We have more stuff than a family of 20. Some of this stuff simply HAS to go.

Second, I have nearly no help. The only time our home/lives were ever really organized and together were the times I was self sacrificing and doing it all myself. When I am willing to get up at 6 A.M. and stay up and literally cleaning, picking up, folding laundry, cooking, carpooling, and cleaning up some more until I go to bed at midnight - we stayed on track. I literally had to be doing something at all times- dishes, laying out clothes, forcing showers, vacuuming, and when I was to tired to do anything else I folded laundry. Of course, I drive myself mad when I am like that. And all it took was my getting a headache one afternoon for the whole thing to come crashing down. I quickly learned that one afternoon off took three to recover from -- if you could at all. So instead I would go at it like a crazy person desperate to stay on top of things until the afternoon with the headache, or the school calling in the middle of the day or the unexpected errand made catching up impossible and then I throw my hands up in the air and say "screw it"-- I can only do so much. Then we go through a time of barely getting by with the house, constantly getting laundry from baskets cause it never gets put away, things get lost, or forgotten, the house spirals into a unorganized zone of chaos. And the house is really just a reflection on the rest of our lives, when the house is going well so goes the family. When we are spiraling out of control ... well we go that way too. I hate that it is like that. And I hate that I feel so personally responsible for it. (Maybe I am.) There has to be a happy middle ground right? I mean my choices can't be to live a life of unintentional chaos where I am miserable, and loathing going places because of the way people look at me (like that crazy person who is so overwhelmed she can't control her kids let alone her life!-- I am that person but you know I don't need it pointed out!) but not stressing out and at least able to relax at home (if I can find a place to sit where I don't think about all the chores I should be doing!) OR the crazy person always on the go, compulsively and obsessively on top of things with the really happy family, who is slowly driving herself into an early grave. (as evidenced by the massive amounts of heart palpitations she has!)
So that is where I am beginning this week -- with some struggle to find middle ground. I need to make a goal list this morning -- things I need to do this week. Notice it's not a"to do" list. That is not realistic in my life. I never get to to everything, so I end up waking up every day already behind. I stress out big time. Of course, I don't usually feel compelled to achieve everything on the goal list, I mean they are just "goals" right? Ugh... I need to find a jumping off point......

Overheard in our house... and bad mom confession time.

Molly "Guys, I just need a simple pet to change my life a little."

Me and Jason: laughing.. just laughing....

Molly: "But I mean I really need a dog, I tried to trap a fly and it just isn't the same kind of pet."

Me: uncontrollablly laughing

Jason: (desperately trying not to laugh) "You what?! Molly somehow I just do NOT think that is going to happen."

Okay so bad person confession here, I don't like animals. I mean it's not like I want bad things to happen to them or anything, and I like going to zoos. But you know... when it comes to things like pets, etc. I just don't like them. I'm not into other people's pets either. Don't get me wrong, I know that you love your dog, and I am totally fine with that. You should love your dog. I, on the other hand, do not. I am not afraid of your dog, I may even think your dog is cute. But I can't even begin to fake an interest in petting your dog, being jumped on by your dog, or letting your dog sniff me. I think it' s kind of gross, and dirty, and stinky. :) That being said, I feel equally as opposed to all the other kinds of pets. I am not interested in owning cats, rodents, birds or reptiles. Fish don't bug me but they seem to be a lot of work for something you are never gonna do anything but stare at. Hence why we don't own any pets.

We have had pets in the past. We have had rodents which my husband swore to me would never escape. No. They live to escape. I used to wake up in the middle of the night in a panic because I had dreamed that the hamsters were escaping the cage. I lived in a constant state of panic. I threatened to call Terminex if they ever escaped again. I couldn't stand it. Then there was the cage. It smelled -- I had to BEG Jason constantly to change the bedding. I was SURE as heck not sticking my hand in there. No way. No how.

We have had an assortment of fish. I was not impressed.

So here we sit with no pet. And to be honest with my daughter -- no hope of getting one. We are allergic to nearly everything and I hate to tell her but despite the begging of all four of my speaking kids, and my husband -- I would sooner eat off my own leg than get a dog. No way, no how.As I told Jason today -- it's not even a discussion I am willing to THINK about having. In the words of 30 Rock -- It's a deal breaker. No dog. No way.

So yes, maybe that makes me the world's meanest mom. Maybe I am depriving my kids of this really fabulous experience. But the good news is -- at least I figured all of this out before we had a dog right?

After many weeks....

I have decided not to fight Teague on his clothes anymore. If he wants to wear his "fishing hat" everyday so be it. Even if it is with his sweat pants and his Woody sandals. Even if it is with Diego overalls and chocalate face Some things are not worth my time.... (especially when we aren't leaving the house!)

And the seventh inning stretch is over.

Well my six weeks of relative peace and relaxation have come to an end, and now as we prep the batting lineup for the home stretch of the school year I am questioning whether a week off for spring break this time of year is a blessing or a curse. :)

Don't get me wrong, it was rather nice to spend a week lounging about the house and sleeping until 9:30 everyday but two weeks later I am still recovering to the start it gave my system to go back to a real schedule, and it's about to get worse!

There are six weeks and three days of school left. (Not that I am counting) Soccer started back up this week -- Samuel is practicing on Tuesday and Luke on Thursday (both have games Saturday mornings, so I loosing the only sleep in day I have!) Ironically the last weekend of soccer is .... you guessed it -- recital weekend. Recital is the second week of June this year, thus extending my crazy season by a week (yeah!). And then I can relax. Take it from me, the week after recital is like a religious sabbatical in this house - we go NOWHERE and do NOTHING. By the time that is over we all need to the time to recover. -- Did I mention that baseball starts in ten days, and that swim team summer conditioning starts the same day?!

So if the blog posting is a little erratic, the spelling is a little worse than usual, or you can't seem to get a hold of me on the phone for the next month -- here's why:

• Soccer: Two practices, two games, every week


• School: Still going strong


• Dance: Four afternoons a week


• Dance Pictures: week of May 10


• Dance Rehearsal


• Dance Recital


• Dance Ticket Sales -- if you need them, let me know ASAP


• Baseball: one practice, one game, six weeks -- any chance this is NOT going to overlap with a soccer day? I guess NOT~!


• Field Trips: Molly's class alone has nine scheduled, Luke's I think has 4. All cost. All take time. Enough Said.


• Doctor's Appointments: three of them.


• Swimming: 6 hours, 3nights, every week.
• Family: Seven of us to keep alive until June 13 :)

Some day when I'm old, (really old)

....

Somday when I am old my yard will be clean, and my garage will be organized.

I will plant flowers and have "landscaping"

My Christmas decorations will match.

I will have table settings that go together.

My house will be quiet.

I will be able to sleep all stretched out in bed without fear of kicking someone out of it.

I will be able to put my hair up everyday without people asking what the occasion is.

I will learn to drink Iced Tea and actually enjoy it as much as soda.

I will be withit enough to plany my own vegatable garden and actually keep the vegatables alive.

My purse will be organized instead of a Mary Poppins style bag that absolutely anything could come out of.

Dinner "time" will mean something, and not just whenever I am get home and get it on the table.

My laundry will always be done, and my house will always be clean.

I will wonder why it wans't always that way.

And I will miss it. :)

Okay so yesterday's post was not my usual....

upbeat, faithful self, and for that, I'm sorry. I really am. I try to be more positive than that these days and frankly, I let myself fall into a "funk" of discouragement. BUT I know that God is faithful, and that God does answer all prayers, sometimes he just says no. And I have to believe that he says no for a reason.

I wish I could go into the specifics more here, but I don't have the go ahead to do that yet.

I feel like God has been so good to us over the last couple of years. We moved into this house, which we really love, it's not perfect (far from it! lol...) but it's in a location that we have fallen in love with and never thought we would. I LOVE that if we need to run to the store there are SEVERAL within a few minutes, we have choices in pizza delivery, and when the weather is nice we can WALK to the park, or the grocery store. If I have to live in Jackson, I never want to live to far away to walk to the Cascades again. Our neighbors are fabulous, and I am quick shot away from the dance studio.

We found a church we adore and attend regularly on Sunday and Wednesday nights. For the first time in our marriage I think Jason and I are on the same page with our faith and it's wonderful to feel. It's really helped us see things with new eyes, and I know I 've said it before but our marriage has NEVER been better.

I've found I have some really fantastic friends, and I have found (or am finding away) not to sweat the less than stellar ones. :) Some friends are the kind you can hang out with once in a while and other ones are the ones who really have your back. The difference will make itself noticeable.

God gave me Charlotte. Only after months of trying and all my "plotting" to get a girl. Only after I finally cried to him "I know it's in your hands, I know no matter what I do, if you want our baby to be a boy it will be, and I am going to be okay with that" And hard to believe I really was. I made peace with it. It was what it was. I reminded myself of it daily during the pregnancy. And even though I had to keep reminding myself to leave it in the God basket -- I did. And I was blessed with my princess baby. It's funny how her beautiful smile reminds me everyday that I am done having babies. You would think it would have the opposite effect, looking at a baby you adore so much. But from the moment I made eye contact with her it just felt so complete. So done. And I don't have a moment's regret about that. I never thought that would happen.

Lately God has really layed it upon us the importance of cherishing the moments we have with each other. Jason has quit his second job and I am amazed at the difference it is to have him home on the weekends, to have him come home every night. It feels so right, I know it was the right choice. Even though it was a hard one. And so I HAVE to believe that or leap of faith was the right one, I know this is what God wants for us. So I have to believe there is something big waiting for us. This stale mate we are at, is just that ... a holding position. There IS a change coming, i just have to be ready for it when God chooses to reveal it to us. And pray that we will see it when it comes.

Random Thought of the Day

Ten years is not a temporary situation. it's a lifestyle. And sometimes that is hard to come to grips with.

What we should have been doing....

It was over 80 degrees and we should have been doing laundry. LOTs of laundry -- because well.... the basement, specifically the laundry room, flooded yesterday. Over a dozen loads of laundry sopping wet in the basement waiting to do a spin cycle, a wash cycle and then the dryer. What we DID do today.... :)

)

I DID do nine very full loads of laundry today, I put away none of them. We DID eat dinner WAY late (and after dessert) on the living room floor (as the dining room is COVERED in clean clothes waiting to be put away)

And .....

We will NEVER remember all the other chores we didn't get to. :)

God is good. And I LOVE my life!

Desperation can lead to great things....

This morning as I was getting Teague ready to go to the bank I nearly lost it. He started to fly into one of his usual "I'm gonna jump and yell fits because mommy didn't say it, do it, think it exactly my way" Yes I was daring to go upstairs without him -- I don't know why but he totally freaks out and follows me, usually tripping me every time i go up and down the stairs in the mornings -- which is crazy annoying. I grabbed him by the shoulders and nearly ground my teeth into each other trying not to yell. Finally I took a deep breath and very firmly said "TEAGUE we are NOT going to do that today, now stop!" And to my amazement he did. So I continued "Use your words. What do you want?" And he said something. (Its late and I don't remember what!) But the point here is --- it worked!

All day long every time he started jumping and yelling I grabbed him by the shoulders and said "Teague we are NOT doing that today. Stop!" And all day long, it worked. Who would have thought I could stop all these tantrums just by telling him not to?! I think I may be on to something here.....

Notes to the God Basket

" I can see my Nuk on the end of this thing ,I can see my Nuk, I can SEE it.... now how do I GET it......"

So maybe two or three years ago I heard someone give a sermon about the God basket. (I actually think it was on Family Life Radio) -- Basically it was a sermon focusing on how we, as Christians are supposed to be at peace, and give all of our worries and problems over to God, knowing that he is in control, and that his plan will ultimately come to play. Of course this isn't the easiest task in the world. When bad things happen, it's human to want to "fix" them for ourselves. The illustration used in the sermon was that when something happens, or a situation arises that you need to "give over to God" the speaker would write it down on a piece of paper and put it in "the God basket" on top of the fridge. Physically giving the concern to God. If the speaker found himself worrying, stressing, etc. over the concern he had to climb back up over the fridge and take it back from God.

It's an illustration I have NEVER forgotten, when it comes to the God basket, I am the ultimate "taker backer" as Samuel would say! And if I felt bad about not giving my concerns to God, taking things back from God felt worse! Now I am not going to pretend that I am perfect at this "giving it to God" thing, but I have come a very long way. When things happen though I find that I am pretty calm these days -- and I am quick to say a quick prayer "Lord I don't know why this happening, but I know that you have a plan and just help me not to worry about it, and to trust that you have a plan" are words I say to myself quite frequently in life. And they are words that have brought me through a lot, and a lot of peace and happiness.

So.... that brings me to today's post... these are some slips I have in the God basket these days.....

*** Jason's job. That's really all I can say. It's not in trouble or anything, don't worry. But there are some things to be prayed about I guess.

***Dance Recital is coming up. The kids are amped up about it, and I love the show -- I cry every year -- but I'm trying hard not to get stressed out over it.

***Luke will be trying out a new swim team for a few days to get the feel of it. I don't know how it is going to go, but I want to at the very least now that we explored our options and I want him to end up in the best situation for him competitively as well as personally.

*** I am concerned that with homeschooling next year I will loose all of my time with Lottie. I am concerned that is is bad for me to feel that way.

*** I wish we had never let Luke get the DS and I don't know how to "deal" with it and all it's problems now that it is here.

*** I am trying to be a wife first, and a mom second. Or at least think about things in that perspective but it is very hard for me, and I often feel very conflicted.

*** I am hoping to have a beautiful vow renewal on a budget in the fall. I want the ceremony to be beautiful, and meaningful. I worry no one will come.

*** It's shallow but I need to figure out something to do with my hair. I love it long, but it looks like this if you air dry it and it's WORK to untangle it everyday, (bad mom confession time: some days I don't have time to detangle it and end up throwing it up in a bun)

So what do you need to put in the God basket lately?

Breaking News!

I am getting married! LOL... Okay so are you scratching your head in bewilderment yet? I know, I know, I am already married. So what in the world am I talking about?

Well, with any luck, come fall Jason and I will be renewing our vows, complete with killer dress and some kick butt pictures. :)

To be honest, I am pretty darned excited. We got married young, and while we were fortunate enough to have a wedding, when so many of our friends were married at the justice of the peace, looking back on it, it feels surreal. Like yes, it was a wedding, and it was a nice wedding, but it doesn't feel connected to us, like it was OUR wedding. I am guessing because we have grown up so much together, that even when I look at pictures of our wedding I laugh and think "we look like little kids going to prom!" So I am super excited at the chance to have a ceremony and maybe some cake or something that reflects who we are, and reaffirms our desire to be together forever -- in our "grown up" state.
I would even like to somehow include our kids, our commitment to our family, and to God.

And now feels like the perfect time to do it, we have been married ten years in May, and our last baby is here, what better way to move on with our "complete" family than to recommit our lives to eachother, and to it. I can't wait to put it all together!

Summer is coming....

I can feel it. I am typing out this blog post from the front yard as I am supposed to be planning out what I want to do plant wise and landscaping wise this year. I have the last of the winter turkeys in the oven roasting (or rather Jason does, Gosh I love that man! It takes a "real" man according to Jason to be the household turkey roaster!) and the kids have been out playing since our neighbor girl, Perry knocked about 11 this morning.

And I don't know about you but if there is one thing that spring break has taught me it's that I am READY for summer time routine. I am ready to have time off, I am ready to relax, I am ready to get out and do family stuff!

I am even ready for summer eating. I know it's probably not this way in all households but our menu completely changes in the simmer. We eat a whole lot healthier in the summer too, because dinners usually consist of something thrown on the grill and whatever fresh fruits and veggies we've picked up at farmer's markets, and roadside stands. This year we are hoping to have some stuff fresh out of the garden too, but I am such a black thumb I don't know how well that will work out! We also do a lot of giant salads, and breadsticks on days when it's just to hot to cook. In the winter we do a lot more "comfort food", casseroles, roasts, etc. Believe me, my body is ready to make the change~!

One other habit we picked up over break, Charlotte and I have been taking a lot of walks after Jason gets home from work. If we leave just after he gets home we can easily walk to Polly's and grab something to go with dinner or whatever and make it home in plenty of time to cook, and I can DEFINITELY see this habit continuing once I am not a the dance studio on a nearly daily basis in the summer. Jason is just home and not to overwhelmed with the other kids yet (he usually relaxes on the porch with the netbook, or reads while they play in the yard, and it is just in time to give me a MUCH needed break from all the "noise" -- which puts me in a much better mood about cooking! Plus noting seems to relax an overstimulated Lottie like some fresh air and a quiet walk. Sigh... if only summer could come a little quicker. It's back to the daily grind tomorrow.......

A Walk in the Park

And I got to play with my new photo editing stuff!

Do you ever feel like this? I do. Frequently. If only I could cover my face with my hands and go hide under the bed like Teague does. :)

Last night I found myself playing on facebook and just for fun I spent a little time searching for people I used to know. Namely, for people I used to be (okay I guess I still am) related too. And I found some. It's weird with my dad's family, there are actually quite a lot of them and they all seem relatively close. I have three uncles, two aunts, and a slew of cousins that I wouldn't know if I ran into the m on a city street. Of course I probably wouldn't know my Dad if I ran into him on a city street either. (And if I did, I would turn around and walk in the other direction!) I thought about adding some of the aunts and uncles, just to say hello and see what they were up to. I don't have anything against them, they are all really nice people, who have the misfortune of being related to my dad. But I realized something -- in order to add them I would have to not only give them my maiden name, I would probably have to point specifically how I was related to them. As in, "this is Manda-- your niece" I decided maybe it wasn't worth it. The cousins are a tougher crowd. They grew up all together and to them, I am this outsider who doesn't belong. I get that now, but it used to hurt quite a bit. When my grandmother died , years ago -- I went to the viewing. Jason could not get off work to go to the funeral and I did NOT want to go alone. Jason hadn't really met much of that family. My aunts and uncles were as welcoming as one could expect, after all their mother had passed away, I actually think they were more welcoming than one would expect. My cousins, on the other hand... Jason would later say that he had never heard a room go quiet like that before. (And Jason is FAR from the most socially observant person in the world!) When I walked into the side room where they were all sitting and talking you could have heard a pin drop. It was as though you could hear their thoughts "what is she doing here? She's not part of this family." The thing, is they were right. I'm not. But it wasn't my fault that I wasn't . It was my dad's.

But despite all of this -- I went to bed last night feeling so blessed. I was laying in bed with Jason, cuddling Charlotte for a bit before going to sleep, with Samuel laying on one side of me, and Teague cuddling with Jason, and Molly laying on the floor watching Night at the Museum 2. (Only Luke had retreated to his own bed.) At which point Samuel looked up at me and said "Look mama, we're in a REAL pile!" (Where the Wild Things Are) What an amazing family I have, where I always belong, where I want to soak up every moment of it, before they are grown and gone on to families of their own.

Running behind

ingetting on with the cleaning this morning... so you get a video! Enjoy!

Not Me Wednesday

I was catching up on my blogstalking today and one of my "bloggies" is really good about posting not me Mondays and questioned what some of our "not me" moments are, and I thought it be entertaining to share some of my recent ones!

*It was not me who spent an hour digging through the storage in the garage to find all the parts to the Jumperoo and then another hour +scrubbing and washing it because it suddenly struck me that Charlotte NEEDED to have it and right now! Only to discover that when she is in it her legs are a good 3-4 inches off the ground so she is totally unable to "jump" in it. (OOPS.) That would have been an irresponsible use of spring cleaning time.

*It was not I who decided that she really needed TWO Hershey bars at Kroger today because one just didn't look like quite enough, and then ate one of the way home so that Jason would not realize I had eaten two candy bars for a snack. That would NOT be good for the diet and I would never do such a thing.

It was not I who resorted to facebooking a teacher to find one of the kids classmates last names so that I could google their parents in order to RSVP for a birthday party. If my child had totally disregarded what I told them and took the party invite out of the house, thus loosing it -- I would have made them skip the party. I would never resort to such spy like tactics!

**Speaking of time management I certainly have not allowed the kids to spend an hour + in the living room for the last two days watching whatever on demand cartoons Luke puts on while I lay in bed upstairs watching Days of Our Lives and snuggling with Charlotte while she naps in the big bed. That would be totally irresponsible and just not what the mama of five does!

**It was not me who has let Teague where nothing but PJ's since Easter.... I am all about getting up, getting dressed and getting on with the day!

**I did not send my husband out a few weeks ago to buy New Moon at midnight because I simply HAD to have it, only to watch it once all the way through and decide I will never watch the first half again. I wouldn't be so inconsiderate!

**I did not cry when I realized Luke is going to have start in Grade 2 math next year despite being in grade 3 (or 4 depending on how you look at it) because I certainly realized he was so far behind before now.

**I did not eat the last of the Easter peeps and pretend not to now what happened to them. Who would do such a thing?

**I did not accumulate an obscene number of Gymbucks the last several months. I don't go overboard anymore. :)

**I did NOT have a holy hairy when a relative I had not seen in seven years "surprise" visited my home with no warning from anyone, thus visited a home knee deep in spring cleaning full of kids who were not clean, or matched. I don't react that way at all. I am ALL about surprises!

**I did not realize only two days ago that a little girl from the dance studio lives two houses down from us and has for years. I am not that unobservant!

**Finally, I did not "hide" a friend on facebook today because her "my kids are so perfect and God loving, and did I mention PERFECT?" posts were leading me to want to comment "gag me". I wouldn't think like that - I am as "snark-free" as it gets!

Team Williams

Although we originally hoping to go out of town for spring break our plans have ended up using spring break for spring cleaning. So Team Williams has been challenged with going through the entire house this week and scrubbing top to bottom! Our prize should we complete this task -- an overnight stay in Frankenmuth! Today's challenge is to finish the dining room/office and to tackle the kitchen. Wish us luck! It did NOT help yesterday that it was so sunny and warm outside, at some point we simply HAD to go out and enjoy the weather!

Me and June Cleaver

:) Stop laughing at the post title. You know who you are!

Sometimes I wish it were like.... 1956. Gasp, shock -- yeah I know. lol... But I do. Sometimes I wish I lived in a cul de sac with a slew of kids and a bunch of moms at home all day with only babies and coffee to keep them busy. :)

* I wish that it was 100% acceptable to "just be" a mom. That people didn't ask me what I planned to do once they were big enough to leave. Don't get me wrong -- I have no issue with moms who work. Or moms who want to work. But I don't. I like staying home, I don't ever "want" to do anything else. It's why I tell those people I'm retired! ;)

* I wish telling my kids I was going to call their dad scared the heebie jeebies out of them. It always seemed that way on Nick at Nite! Some of the time my kids care -- but most of the time, they don't get it!

* I wish people weren't shocked when they found out that I have five kids and -yes!- they all have the same dad. Seriously. Again, no issue at all with blended families but when did it become okay to assume if you have more than one or two kids they couldn't possibly be with the same person?

*I wish it wasn't socially acceptable to question how many kids a person has? FIVE is not that many -- and I promise I do know how it's happening.

* I wish it were acceptable to wear skirts in the summer and not have people assume it's a religious thing. lol.. If it weren't cold in the winter I would wear them more often than too. I just like skirts and dresses. I always have. (FTR I love me some jeans too but sheesh, you throw on a sundress and people look at you like you are crazy!)

*While I am on the subject of clothes, I like a collar for church. I don't care what other people wear to church-- I really don't. But I put my boys in shirts with collars -- even if it's just a polo and jeans) and I like the girls in a dress or a skirt. At the very least I like nice clothes. If i wouldn't take the kids to my grandmothers in it, I am not taking them to God's house in it either. I am weird like that.

*As Alex pointed out to me last week -- I wish I still lived in a world of community. The neighborhood park, neighborhood church, neighborhood butcher etc. I long to have friends and community ties. (you know like you used to see on shows like Bewitched!)

So yeah... this is my walk down memory lane so to speak, if only I lived in a little pink bottle like Barbara Eden in I Dream of Genie...... :) (Since I am wishing here I would like her body in that show too!)

Spring Kick-Off

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the weather is .... well, it WAS warm outside. Spring has come to Jackson. And it is never more evident than in our schedule! It always seems we are going more places and getting out more when the weather is nice.

On Friday we headed north to Lansing and hit Potter Park Zoo with Jason's cousin Bill and his family, whom we hadn't seen since before Teague was born. Which, when you think about it is really sad -- they only live 45 minutes away! The kids had a blast with their "cousins" (second cousins) and it was nice to see Bill and Chanelle again!

On Saturday we were invited over to our friends house to watch the MSU debacle..err...I mean game. All of this AFTER we took the kids to my in laws motorcycle group's egg hunt. Um.. yeah.Today's random Manda fact -- I hate motorcycles. I mean, maybe hate is a strong word. I just don't "get" motorcycles. I don't "get" why you would spend more money than a used car for something like a motorcycle, and why anyone would want to ride on when you could -- you know-- be in a CAR. But I digress.... their group had an egg hunt for the kids which went to early Saturday afternoon. JUST early enough that it didn't start actually raining until we had buckled Charlotte in to leave. Thank goodness!

Finally. yesterday we celebrated Easter in the most relaxing way I could think of. WE did practically nothing. We went to church, where according to Teague he learned about "Jesus", and when asked what Jesus did, Teague replied... "he bring a basket, with a chocolate!" Ummm.... I think perhaps Teague is a little confused by the whole Easter story, we'll work on it for next year I promise!