See that kid? I'm pretty sure his teacher think's I'm an idiot. Before I confess my great many mommy sins, I should put the disclaimer out there that she is a lovely person who has never been rude to me, or did anything outwardly that made me think "yep-- she thinks I'm a moron" But seriously? If I were her, I would be mentally conjuring blonde jokes every time I saw me too. (and I am not even blonde anymore.)
I can NOT seem to get myself together this fall. Schedules, lists, organizers, cell phone reminder alarms, nothing seems to *quite* be enough to keep on top of my game. Add in that Jason has returned to school and well.. we have reached a point of holding it together - but barely. We're holding up with scotch tape and make shift cardboard parts. Which brings us to these little gems:
Monday Morning Mom Confessions
* It is not I who has failed to send my kindergartner with a show and tell three out of the four weeks thus far.
* I do not perpetually forget to fill my kid's lunch account. Nor am I totally incapable of tracking how much money is on it.
* I ALWAYS remember to pack a separate snack. Who forgets that?!
*On the snack note it's also not me who has "owed" the class snack bowl three snacks for weeks. I'm on the snack ball.
* Gym clothes? Sure, we always have them ready by Sunday night! What kind of parent is on a first name basis with the office people by October for all the times they have to run in lunches let alone gym clothes!
* I never, ever, ever, shurg my shoulders hand my kid a little debbie and say "sure that can be breakfast, now go watch Dora because Mommy simply HAS to finish editing this job."
* My week long, easy on the budget bathroom renovation would never balloon into a pricey two month extravaganza. That's not what "with it" people do.
* On the same note, I certainly wouldn't paint said bathroom twice because I couldn't bring myself to decide on a color until I saw it all rolled out. Never.
* I never said to my fifth grader "Seriously? You don't feel good. You know if you stay home you're doing chores right? What ? You feel just tired? Think you'll make it at school? Great!" Never, ever.
* I did not drag poor Jason to Lowe's to "help me" pick out new hardware" for the cupboards only to say to him "when I said help I meant corral the kids while I choose. If I wanted your opinion on hardware I'll ask for it. Don't hold your breath."
* I didn't feed my kids leftovers for dinner and put them to bed at 7:30 on a weekend before ordering take out and eating dinner just Jason and I alone because I simply couldn't stand the SOUND of them fighting another minute. What kind of parent does that?!
And finally...
* I did not break up the boys literally trying to beat each other in the living room by yelling "Alright! If hitting is on the table, I'm game! Who wants to be spanked?" But if I had -- I wouldn't have actually done it, but it would have felt nice to threaten it. :)
Seriously?! And people wonder why I try to stay busy?