Friday Night Leftovers (The Ugh Edition.)

I forgot to link up last week so if want to read about the "bra" go HERE

*It is a grilled cheese and soup kind of night, it's FREEZING, and wet and windy. Naturally, we have a 9 a.m. soccer game. AH!!!!!!!!!

* I am trying really hard to figure out the best academic situation for Luke. Its maddening. I am frustrated with everyone, myself included.

* The contractor work has stalled in the kitchen. The first set of cabinets didn't get ordered, the second set were wrong. Here we sit with one half a kitchen still.

* It occurred to me this week that there is no way to use the words "We had hoped" without being well you know.. a "witch." It's like a polite warning -- "I am about to be snotty and obnoxious."

* Molly is gonna be a rat in Youth Dance Theatre's Nutcracker this year. She is elated and I am thrilled for her, but that is even MORE dance. If your local it's the first weekend in December!

* I am still trying to claw my way back to the top of that ball that is my life. My claws are not what they once were, I keep falling. :(

* Charlotte has been prancing around in an old leotard and pointing to it and telling me "Look I Molly." It's adorable.

* Our local museum and parks Fall festival is this weekend, we are hoping for sunshine to hit it up in on Sunday.

* I have exactly one Gymbuck for the first time in forever. Not sure if I am gonna use it yet or not.

*Despite being cold all the time I am in LOVE with peanut butter and chip ice cream. I can't share it with Charlotte and I kind of like that. (yeah, bad mommy doesnt like to share her ice cream.)

* Heated leather seats should be standard in mini vans. Seriously.

Thursday.

He's being a bat. :)

My Famous Pretzel Chicken

My usual adaptation of a Rachel Ray recipe. I can't seem to leave anything alone. And I like recipes I can remember, I'm lazy that way.

Start with boneless skinless chicken breast -- I like to butterfly filet it to make nice thin cutlets. (Butterfly filet is basically to cut it in half using kitchen sears, thickness wise, not in half up and down. Mom, that means if you were to think of the chicken breast as a 100 page text book, instead of cutting it in half up and down or across the cover, you want to cut it in half to make two 50 page text books, make more sense? ) You can also use full size chicken breasts and just pound them thin with rubber mallet or something of the like, or just by thin cut chicken breast cutlets. Or just make thicker pieces of chicken but they will take longer to cook. :)

Then you prepare a three bowl breading system -- one bowl of flour, one bowl of whisked eggs (or the egg wash substitute of your choice, we use buttermilk a lot) and the third bowl will have the pretzel mixture.

Pretzel mixture:

Grind about half a bag of pretzel sticks, or other thin pretzels (I like the cheap $2 bags at Meijer) in a food processor, or place in a gallon size zip lock bag and roll over it with a rolling pin until it is FINELY graded, with only a few larger pieces in it. Add ground pretzels to the the bowl. Add in a generous palmful of Italian Seasoning, and a dash of thyme. Mix well.

In a large frying pan add enough vegetable oil to cover the chicken as you cook it and heat it up to a medium high temperature. Once the oil is heated you can bread the chicken and add it to the oil.

To bread chicken place each piece in the flour mixture until coated, then the egg wash (or substitute) and then into the pretzel mixture being sure to get it well coated and into the hot oil. Rotate chicken with a fork or tongs, until cooked through.

We serve this chicken with a homemade cheese sauce, but it's excellent without cheese too -- and I am sure you could serve it with a jarred cheese sauce if that's your thing.

Our homemade cheese sauce:

Melt three tablespoons of butter, add in two tablespoons flour and stir. Once a thick paste is forming quickly add in two cups of milk and a bag of shredded cheddar cheese and stir. Add in a tablespoon of Dijon mustard.

My boys also swear by just using mustard as a dipping sauce, much like you would a soft pretzel.

Big Love.

Teauge says he ""wrote" a word. He said it says "Love" and he made really really big because it's a great BIG love. :) I needed that this morning.

I'm sorry I am not writing more, taking pictures more, being creative more. I hate it. But I'm exhausted, and stretched to thin. I need too make some changes but I can't decide what to change.

Friday Night Leftovers (Let's pretend shall we.)

It was super long, emotional week. Things are still a mess and I am facing schedule changes. Joy

.

* Why do the kids refuse to wear shirts? (The boys) Luke especially is forever walking around topless. IT bugs me.

* Jason has accused me of having a crush on the Schwanns man. LOL, not really -- he's old and not attractive, he does bring delicous yummies to my door though.

*Charlotte was at the dance store this week begging for shoes -- she kept bringing me the sample ballet slipper and saying "pease pease pease Mama!"

*She is also in love with her "no White" crown. (she can not say Snow)

*I only ate take out twice this week, we're getting there.

*Strike that. We were getting there. I forgot about the schedule changes. I have mentioned my schedule is a delicate balance or strength and insanity right? Well it is. :( And now it is about to get seriously messed up.

*My name is Manda. I am a Pepsi addict.

* I hate sleepovers -- the kid kinds. I don't like the neighbor kids that much. I barely can stand my own kids in the middle of the night.

*I still have no cabinets. Ugh.

*Molly asked me to buy her a bra this week. I said yes, and then mentioned that she in no way needs one though.

* The little boys started soccer this week. Teague did awesome (especially since he cried all last season.) Samuel is great, but that is typical.

* Teague is number one. He thinks this is based on his abilities, and not how they lined up -- shortest to tallest. I have ZERO plans to tell him otherwise.

What I need.

So ... it's 11 and I Can't sleep. My heart is racing, I've been crying, I can't sort the thoughts in my head enough to think, let alone actually do it.

I need to change something or the panic attacks are gonna kill me. I want to homeschool -- I want to do this, heck I enjoy doing it if it were the only thing I had to do, I think this works best for my kids right now (especially given the only other option given our living situation.) They are learning, much better then before. But to be able to do that, and say.. the laundry (which hasn't been done since school started. Literally.) I can't do this alone.

I need not to do things that make me have to leave the house during the day -- errands, banks, secretarial like crap for the family, I don't want to leave before 3 at the earliest any day. I need TIME to do school, and house.

I need to not be the only one doing the dishes, driving to activities, etc. What ever happened to things like carpool? I know my friend Alex likes to tell me that we don't live in a world with "community" anymore, she may be right, but I miss it.

I need a husband who comes home every night. If that were the case I might be able to go run a few errands on an evening with just one kid for special time, or -gasp- alone instead of having to take a tribe of unruly children during the day and get the evil eye from everyone in town, like I do now because the precious few evenings Jason is here I don't want to spend gone.

I need weekends to be weekends. Relaxing, time to catch up on house stuff, hang out with the neighborhood kids like we do in the summer, do family stuff, heck go to church without feeling like it cuts in on a quarter of the only day we have together.

I need a reliable babysitter, or a few. So that on occasion I can go to a Dr's appointment instead of putting it off because whatever the problem is -- is CANT be as bad as taking everyone. Or maybe even go out to dinner with my husband and talk about something beyond logistics. I NEVER have that, it's all us, all the time. I can't remember the last time the two of us went out.

I need help. Or I am not gonna see my kids grow up, I 'm gonna have a heart attack trying to just keep the ball rolling, forget trying to stay on top of it.

Extra! Extra!

Because everyone loves a random extra post!

For the I Heart Faces weekly challenge.

This week's theme: A Touch of Sun

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too.

I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who commented, emailed, called, etc. with encouraging words last regarding my Friday Night whining about school. It's so good to know that it's normal to get discouraged, it's normal to miss the expectation that they would get bigger and go to school and you might someday get a moment to yourself.

Things have been better so far this week, the contractors have not been at the house and it is remarkably easier when you don' t have that distraction. It is still not easy, and I still find myself wishing for different, or at least more options. Especially with Luke, who's learning difficulties make things especially complicated. They are also a big factor in why he is at home, because keeping up for him in school was nearly impossible, and he just wasn't getting it. So for now, it's one day at a time, until a magic solution reigns from the sky.

A Bulletin from School.

We start off every morning with a journal topic. Mostly I use it to get their brains moving. Sometimes, it is serious, sometimes it's fun. I am not nearly creative enough to think these things up so I get them off a website for daily journal prompts. Today's prompt was:

"Imagine that you are going on a trip to the

moon and can only bring three things.

List three things you would take to the moon

and why you would bring these things"

The answers were hysterical.

Luke:

A giant solar powered battery, the Wii, and the Comcast box.

Molly:

My ballet shoes, an iPod, some leg warmers - it's cold on the moon.

Samuel:

A tortoise, a toaster, and the refrigerator.

Teague:

A space suit, a skate board helmet, a rocket.

Friday Night Leftovers (The Burnt Out Whining edition.)

* It is the second week of school and I am tired, burnt out and exhausted. It's not the onslaught of "after school" activities either. It's school itself. Maybe that makes me the worst home school parent ever. But the truth is, I don't want to do it right now. I want to send them to school and put Teague in preschool and take Charlotte to "Time for Twos" at the library before putting her down for a nap, cranking the radio and attacking the dishes. I MISS THAT LIFE. But preschool is expensive around here, (at least any I would send him too) and the public schools suck and can no way accommodate Luke. So I am stuck and not happy about it right now. I am hoping it will change again.

* The contractors are still coming daily and it's taking FOREVER. I want my kitchen back to normal, but most of all I want to stop having to be showered, dressed, and have a perfectly clean house before 8 a.m. only to have them not show until 10 that day. It's getting old.

* I had to cave and buy myself some new jeans and stuff yesterday (thank you Kohls cash sale.). I can't believe how fat and out of shape I have gotten. I am seriously gross. I need to start eating better, but more importantly I need to start running again. OF course when I find a moment to myself to do that I'll stop the presses. It would be a miracle. My only hope would be to join a 24 hour gym and go at 12:30 a.m. when I can finally sit down. (And before anyone suggests it I know I could run outside and not at a gym, but that means I would have five kids in tow or run in the dark. )

* My shopping trip was so bad at some point I texted a dear friend and said "Would it be an epic fail if I just came home with new sweat pants?" God love her she said "Do the sweat pants make you happy? Then get them."

* I am tired of being broke. That about says it all.

* Molly has taken to begging for coffee drinks at every turn. (I don't buy them for her.) I never met a nine year old who LIKES the way coffee tastes. I only let her try one because I figured she would hate it~!

* I've been coughing and yucky for two weeks. The congestion is killing me. BRING ON THE HARD freeze. (its all stemming from out of control allergies!)

* I need to do something to feel good about myself -- I need to feel on top of things and I just can't seem to claw my way back to supermom. IT's been 10 months today since the accident and I know it's stupid but I have not been "myself" since. IT took until June for me to even want to feel like supermom again and now I just can't do it. It's like I forgot how.

What They Said Wednesday (The school edition.)

Molly: Am I the only one who thinks it is ridiculous we have to do this everyday? Geez.

Me: What shapes do you see Teague?

Teague: A square, and a triangle and that one. (A STOP sign)

Me: Do you know what shape that is called?

Teague: I don't know that one shape Mom.

Me: That is called an octagon -- it has eight sides.

(then I count them with him.)

Teauge looks VERY closely at the paper in silence, cocks his head and says:

Teague: No. It's a tiger face shape Mom, you're not correct about this one.

Samuel: My capitols for memory are: Augusta, Maine; Boston Massachusetts; and Concord New Hamster.

Teague (at the dinner table): So how did dancing go this evening Molly? Did you work real hard?

Everyone else: (stunned silence)

Teague: What?! Its a questy-in.

Charlotte: More. More juice.

Me: What do you say?

Charlotte: (looks consfused and points at the kitchen) Go?!

Luke: These kids are going to kill me. Or make me fat. (??!)

The Run Down.

Teague has a best friend.

They are like two peas in a pod.

(Or two boys in a fort, you pick.)

Luke got a trombone.

That's right .. a trombone.

Correction: We RENTED a trombone.

Molly is still hanging out at the dance studio.

Daily.

Charlotte is exhausted and off schedule.

(Me too.)

September 11th

Yesterday was the tenth anniversary of September 11th, and to be honest, it's hard to imagine it's been ten years. On the other hand, I watched our kids run around the park yesterday and realized that four of the five them have never lived in a world where that unspeakable morning hadn't happened. Luke alone had, but he was much to young to remember it.

We decided not to have any of the coverage on during the day. Molly and Luke know the logistics of what happened. They know there were planes that flew into large buildings. They know that two of those buildings fell over, they know a lot of people died. We decided that's enough for now.

It occured to me in the evening that Luke is getting to an age when he can certainly know more, and maybe he should, but I don't really know the words to explain it. Ten years later and I can still barely explain it to myself. I watched Tom Brokaw reflect on it last night, long after the kids had gone to bed. He said he still couldn't make sense of it either. If the voice of TV journalism couldn't yet put it into words, I figure it's okay that I can't either. I know Luke will have questions that I don't have answers to.

I also know that for my kids they will never "know" what happened that day the way that Jason and I do. The way that those of us who can remember it "know it". They will know it in the way that I know what happened at Pearl Harbor. I "know", but I don't get the sucker punch to the stomach feeling that those who lived in a time to remember it must when I think about it. The feeling I still get when I recall hearing that the third plane had hit the Pentagon. That feeling, that as awful and unimaginable as the trade towers being hit had been, that the Pentagon, a symbol of the strength of this country's power had been the most recent target, and then the total terror of wondering what was next.

There will come a day when my kids will have to be told. Will have to know that even here in the relative comfort, and safety of the Midwest, we were scared. We were shocked, and we were sad, and we were scared. They will have to know that out of that fear grew a quiet anger, that stopped being quiet. They will know that anger developed into ten, plus years of war. They will no doubt be told about how that sunny September day changed everything.

But for now, I hope they never really "know". I hope they learn about it, when the time is right, that they understand the logistics and loss of what occurred, but I hope they never live through such an experience. I hope they closest they get to the fear, and the shock, and the sadness, is being told about how my stomach drops when I think about it still.

I know a lot of adults who avoided the coverage as well. I don't blame them. Jason chose to go bed.

I watched, because that's who I am. I want to watch things over and over until I can try to make some sense of it. I found that it was even harder to watch a decade later then it had been at the time. But I watched it anyway.

I still don't get it. I don't think I ever will.

Remember... a photo challenge

Friday Night Leftovers (the My God am I tired edition.)

* Yes I finally got around to the last three days of blog posting today, shoot me.

* I seriously forgot how exhausting the first week back is, the schooling, the schedule, the stuff, and it only picks up more next week. I am actually a bit afraid.

* I need one good frost. My allergies are in overdrive.

* There should be an express lane at the bottle return. Not everyone waits until they have $50 worth of bottles to take them back. OR at least a one cart limit.

* I have said it before and I am sure I will say it again, but I have been watching Molly dance a long time now, I know what it looks like. A little girl, turning into a big girl, learning ballet. Every once in a while I catch her out of the corner of my eye though and it takes my breath away the beautiful lines she makes with that little body. I am so proud of her.

(she's in the middle.)

* How is it that the only cashmere I own is socks?

* Co-op started today, and I seriously LOVE some of those women. I don't know that I could navigate this road without knowing I didn't travel alone.

* The ceiling is officially gone in the kitchen. On to new drywall.

* Finally I would remiss not to note that U of M plays Notre Dame on Saturday night - Go Blue.

Something to Remember for Thursday

My sunshine. :)

Wordless Wednesday Post (The Back to School Edition.)

51

That's what the weather channel is telling me right now. It's cloudy (I can see that.) And it's cold. (I can feel that.) Hard to believe it was 90 on Friday, but that is the way it goes here, hot one day and freezing the next. I am in a little bit of a panic since the budget hasn't allowed me to do much fall clothes shopping at all. And it's not really IN the budget until October. We'll have to get by on what we have I suppose. I REALLY hope Luke has at least one pair of jeans he can still wear -- that kid grows like a weed. It will back into the 70's in a few days and while that's not warm Luke will want to wear shorts so I have a little bit of time. Fingers crossed. The fall activities pick up today, and the kids are "for the most part" excited. We start school tomorrow.

(P.S. The new menu is now post on the left sidebar.)

The Annual Top Ten of Summer Post.

I can't believe it's Labor Day. I can't believe it's 60 degrees today. I can't believe I'm wearing jeans -- worse yet I can't believe they don't fit. (gasp!) But without further adieu -- here it is folks. The most anticipated blog post of the year... the annual "top ten of summer" post.

#10. Grace School of Dance

Okay so this is probably unexpected. We take summer's low key around here. This summer wound up VERY low key. I dubbed it "the summer of nothing". So how does a dance studio make the list? Because it's a new dance studio. We've only ever registered to dance there. And yet it makes "The List" for two very special reasons: Miss Janet Coponen and Miss Linnea Strauss. The two wonderful ladies who are starting such an amazing venture. We walked in the door at Open House to applause, hugs, and cheers. Even though it was a new business, a new dance studio, in a new place, it felt like coming home. I make no secret that Molly spends a LOT of time at the dance studio, and consequently so have I over the years. I had almost forgotten what it felt like to love to be there. I joked that I was now expecting hugs and applause upon every entry. The funny thing is, I know it will FEEL that way every time anyway. Which is why Grace School of Dance is the first dance studio to make the Top Ten of Summer, ever.

#9 Cascades Park and Ice Cream Company

It wouldn't be summer in these parts without the near daily walks to the park, without cool ends to hot days at the ice cream stand. Without sprinkles, and play structures and skinned knees. It just wouldn't. Heck, as the kids are getting older I am lucky to not have half the neighborhood with me. Its one of the reasons I stay in my house and find myself looking at other houses no more then a few blocks away. I am not sure I ever want to live outside of walking distance to the park again.

#8 The Beast

The new van earned it's way to the list by being the most expensive "thing" I have ever bought. IT had to be done. The red van had died a very slow and painful death. While I do love having a trunk, and all the nifty "features" of the Beast, it will never be a van I love. I look at it and I see all the reasons I had no choice but to buy it. IT gets me to and from, is comfortable and not embarrassing to be seen in. But it will never be a car I loved.

#7 Lucky Sevens

Seven on 7-7 for #7 on the list. I told Samuel on our way up from the dug out at the game that he may have just had the best birthday ever. I wasn't really kidding. From a great party at the park, with great friends, and great company and great weather to a Lugnuts game with a winning birthday boy, a trip to the field, and an autographed ball it was a birthday to remember for a most deserving kid. Did I forget they sang Happy Birthday to him, as a stadium?

#6 The Pool

This inflate-a-ring pool was the best money I spent this summer. It was small enough that everyone could touch the bottom and big enough that everyone could enjoy it. It kept us cool during the heat wave. It made my back yard the place to be in the neighborhood. (Which I secretly loved -- I know the likes and secrets of every kid in the neighborhood, and I actually enjoy laying out in the shade and watching the interaction. )

#5 The Long Holiday Weekend.

I'm corny and nostalgic enough that I LOVE the fourth of July. I find myself playing America the Beautiful, and What a Wonderful World all weekend. WE cook out. We have friends over, and we have more friends who park in the front of the house for easy fireworks parking. We hang out at the park and watch the kids run and laugh as the sunsets. We eat elephant ears. It's been 75% the same crowd for years now and it amazes me every year how much bigger the kids are. The firworks are amazing and every year I catch myself looking around all the faces filled with wonder. I don't see a year when it WON't make the list.

#4 Local Staples

There are not two places in Jackson that stir up more nostalgia and good feeling then The Michigan Theatre and The Parlour. Both found their way into our summer, both are making the list.

The annual pilgrimage to the Parlour is worth every calorie, down to the very last scoop of sundae, for it's feeling of times past, dreams of jukeboxes, and fully satisfied taste buds.

The Michigan Theatre was a haven of cool air, fresh popcorn, and clean entertainment when the days grew hot, or too wet to seek refuge in the yard.

#3 Lions, and Tigers, and Elephants?

We love the zoo. My kids have always loved the zoo, and this year was no exception. We braved the heat, and took the new van on it's inaugural road trip to Toledo. The best parts of this years trip? It was the first year Charlotte really noticed the animals, and the zoo boasted a baby elephant named Lucas. Of course the hippos, and monkeys, and bears failed to disappoint either.

# 2 The Beach

So we didn't make it to the U.P this year. But we did make out to Lake Michigan and the waves were enormous this year. So the camera was on the VERGE of death on our trip. I went out in the lake to play in the waves with the kids for hours. I don't think I have had that much fun since I was 15. It was the perfect end to the summer.

#1 The Hot Air Jubilee

The annual jubilee usually makes the list. It's a pretty big deal around here. It's a pretty inspiring sight. But this year it receives the honor of being #1 on the list. The very best weekend of the summer.

It was hot -- let's get that straight right now. It was REALLY, REALLY hot that weekend, and it could have made the whole thing a nightmare. But it wasn't. My hat goes off to the people who put this thing together this year, moving it from the pay entry at the airport to free at the park. There was something for everyone, the car show, the craft area, the carnival rides, the bounce house village, the kids game tent, the fair food. (Oh the food!) And of course, the balloons. There was still the park playground for playing on, there was shade to be found (if you were early enough) and the atmosphere of excitement, and good time was palatable. If anything heat created a sense of comradeship with the crowd. The "we're all crazy for being out in this" buzz, that binds you together as fools of the same feather. We spent most of the weekend there, a good chunk of it with some great friends (Kim -- this one's for you - you made the list!) and it was hands down this year's #1. If any of the event staff get to see this, pat your selves on the back. I know it was a lot of work, and it was a job well done. :)